Why Coaching?
A sceptical colleague often challenges me about the benefits of coaching.
"How can talking to someone for an hour or so a week, cause them to change?", he asks me.
It’s a good question. I answer it below with three concepts developed through my experience of working with highly successful leaders.
The Inner Motivation To Change
We all have something we want to change or improve about our lives or careers, but left to our own devices we don’t get around to it. We’re too busy we tell ourselves - “I’ll start tomorrow, as soon as I’ve finished this project”.
The motivation to change has to come from within ourselves. It can’t be a result of someone else’s desire for us to change – say our boss or our partner. If we are to truly change our behaviours and achieve our goals, it must be self-motivated.
This is where I spend a lot of time with coaching clients. Uncovering and understanding their impetus for change.
Sometimes, it’s a career thing – “I know this is inhibiting my career and until I fix it I won’t progress.”
However, often its more deep-seated. For example, wanting to shift the balance in your life, or wanting to better understand your team and help them to thrive and succeed.
Importantly, the inner motivation to change is different for all of us. My job is to help you find it.
Seeing Ourselves As Others See Us
It’s hard to see ourselves as others do. It is natural for us to be focused on our own actions and perspective. The default is to think we’re doing the right things, giving the right time to our team members (or our partners), and listening to them when they want to talk. Yet, maybe that’s not what they feel.
In reality, perhaps you’re always on the move, or you offer solutions when people are wanting to discuss options. Perhaps your drive to get things done is seen as overbearing by others, or your desire to do a really good job is preventing you from allowing others to contribute.
Feedback is a powerful tool in realising this, and a third party to help you interpret that feedback even more so. We are all taken aback when we understand how others really view us, but this is often when and why we shift our behaviour.
Holding You To Account
It’s a simple notion, but if you think someone is interested in your progress and is going to ask you about it, you’re more likely to deliver your plan.
In secondary school English when I hadn’t done my homework and offered a spurious defence, my teacher would say: “That’s an excuse; what’s the reason?”.
In our regular sessions, I will act as a conscience, gently reminding you of the things you said you would try and if you haven’t progressed asking (respectfully) why.
Why Now?
You can always put things off, maybe they’ll get better all by themselves – I’ll let you into a secret they rarely do. We all fall into patterns of behaviours and those patterns repeat, creating the same sub-optimal results as before.
The sooner we start and break those patterns, the sooner we’ll release the potential in ourselves and others and take a step in a new direction. The covid-19 experience taught us that we never know what is around the corner and that we have to remain adaptable, to flourish in uncertainty.
Contact Me
Email me to book in for your complimentary call, and to discuss how I can help